Confidence is universal. We all need it. And we almost always need it. When we have confidence, we don't realize how important it is. It's only when this essential ingredient of life is missing, that we realize how necessary it is.
I am going to walk you through a two-step process that can help you remain confident across different domains and different walks of life. Even if you feel you are fairly confident, this article will share insights on how to maintain it. A lot of us do use this process naturally, without being aware of it. Explicitly understanding the process will enable you to use it more effectively and in the domains of your life where you lack confidence.
Step 1: Building a repository
Confidence is built upon experiences. It does not have an independent existence. If you have engaged in an activity before, then your confidence is based on your prior experiences of that same activity. If it is a new activity, you may be slightly less confident, but at the same time, your experiences from related activities and fields will influence your confidence levels.
Therefore the first step is to build a mental repository of experiences from which you can draw strength and confidence for a specific activity or domain of your life:
First, look back and reflect, to whenever you have engaged in that activity or something related to it, and pick and select instances where you were relatively successful, or your expectations were matched. It needn’t be big achievements. Focus on small successes as well. Maybe something even as simple as you completing a task on time.
Second, you can generate new experiences to draw confidence from, by breaking that activity into small portions or undertake a simplified version of it.
Step 2: Drawing confidence from the repository
Now, whenever you engage in that activity the next time, recall and pay importance to the mental repository of good experiences that you have built. When you recall it, tell yourself that, "Yes, I have done this before and I have done it well! I can do it adequately this time as well and get even better at it." It needn’t be these exact words, but something along those lines.
What if I start to recall experiences where I didn’t perform well?
This is very natural. To tackle this you need to understand one more property of confidence. It isn’t just simply based on all your past experiences. It is based on the past experiences that you choose to pay importance to.
Thus, you need to redirect your mind and pay greater emphasis to the experiences from the repository that you built rather than the experiences that lower your confidence.
Maintaining your confidence (keeping your confidence bank intact)
One thing to keep in mind is that you need to maintain your repository. You need to keep updating it and reinforce the memories and experiences already in it, to ensure that they don’t lose their importance and can continue to give you confidence. Confidence building is thus a continuous process.
How to build good experiences from which I can draw confidence?
There are two key components to build good experiences (aka success) from which you can draw confidence:
Preparation - Extensively and comprehensively pre-prepare yourself for the task
Set rational expectations - Your confidence lowers when you do not meet your expectations. Thus you need to set reasonable expectations based on your current skill and aptitude levels.
Another thing to keep in mind is that the more you engage in a certain activity and have good experiences, the more confidence you build.
This technique might sound strange to you at first glance. You will need to practice and try it out for yourself. Do share with me your experience of trying out this technique.
If you require further guidance and specific help, sign up for a session on performance enhancement.
Subscribe to the website and follow on Instagram or LinkedIn to be notified about new resources on management consulting, internships, CV-building, interview preparation, and more areas.
All the best!
Comments